Thinking Aloud!!!

So I have been thinking about people and there interactions with each others! What kind of friend, family, spouse, parent or all around person are you? For me it comes down to a lot. I know that since my father has passed my patience has worn thin, I don't think I have the forgiving nature I once had. The fact that he passed on so quickly reminds me that none of us are given an exact time here and that we shouldn't be waisting our lives on dumb mundane fake things/ideas and be real with our selves, the people around us and our future. I know once again I am rambling but take a look at yourself see if the people around you see you as you want to be seen or as something else. Are you doing your best everyday to live your life so when you die (which WILL HAPPEN) the time you spent on earth was filled with God, Love, Friends and Family and not the fake idea of what life should be or who you shouldn't be impressing.

I know that as of late I have not let this get in my way. Only in retrospect have I seen that I have given to much attention and energy into unworthing things... My life, My time, My affection and attention are very imporatant and I am putting my foot down and not going to let it happen any longer! I am going to give all of ME to people who not only care for me but who believe in me. So next time some one comes up to me with some B.S. they better be prepared to get shut down or to be told the truth. I don't have it in me anymore to care about pleasing everyone but I do have it in me to be true to me and the HONEST LOVED ONES AROUND ME!

GOD BLESS YOU ALL THAT TRULY HAVE MY BACK.. (mostly the people who subscribe to this blog, LOVE U ALL!)

Homeschooling and k12

So... I have began homeschooling the girls using the k12 program (public school). As a part of the new legislation they offered free online schooling thru k12. I jumped at the opportunity! So as u know I am still working full time until Oct.-Nov. and have been balancing homeschool and working. I can't say it has been smooth sailing but the girls LOVE IT and I am so happy 2 see them happy to learn.

You have to understand that last year while IN public school, every morning was a mission!! Arguing, Screaming, Kicking to get in the car, Frustrated on the way, Kicking to get out of the car... and that was just Tsianna... Karina would go 2 school okay, bless her heart I think she didn't want to make things hard on me know how Tsi was but that is the kind of person Karina is :) but she wouldn't eat @ lunch (too loud). I had 2 take my lunch hour and eat with her every day for 2 wks til she felt comfortable enough to eat alone. She never raised her hand in class. She is introverted and that is they way she likes it. I had the mentality that they HAD 2 go 2 school 2 learn, I thought of homeschooling but I didn't think I was smart enough 2 do it. I doubted myself and my abilities to educate my children the way I know they could learn and grow. I was sending them to school because I felt as if that was THE WAY 2 DO IT!! BOY WAS I WRONG!
All they were doing was trying to teach Tsianna how to sit still and Karina didn't feel comfortable raising her hand in class so she was one of those kids getting "LEFT BEHIND". So I got the guts, prayed and went and saw my cousin Tina homeschool her kids and I realized I 2 can do what is best for my children and not what society has told me is what they need... I gave birth to them, I raised them and some how I let the world tell me how "they should be raised"
Well I am taking it back and I decided to do what I KNEW WAS BEST FOR MY GIRLS! I spoke with my husband and he agreed... and we decided to everything from move 2 another town to better our family and I will be going back to being a homemakers and raising our girls and taking care of my husband, family and home. Putting God first and all else will follow....

I have never seen my girls so excited 2 do school work. They love having Mommy as teacher they raise their hands when they are giving me an answer or when they have a question. It is so gratifying to see these girls once DISLIKE school now LOVE it... and the more reading I do to help me and the girls the more I know what we all need to succeed not only in homeschooling but in LIFE!!!

Can't wait to share more!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

It's Been A While...

So it has been a while since I have blogged but I have been super busy!
It's amazing how time flies when things are a pain in the...
any why, I have been enjoying my days off with my girls but it has definetly been a road!
T had her neuro appt. in Miami... we drove 4 hours to have the doctor work his magic, after months of tinkering with docs here in O-town I found me a doctor that has got the ball rolling. She will be doing 24-hr video EEG and a MRI/Catscan of the brain. He also wants her to get Occupational Therapy, Social Therapy, Speech & Language therapy... I will be super busy so chances are I will be on here for the occational update and for those long insites to what I feel and what I have been up 2!
Thx 4 checkin on me!
xoxoxo

Knowledge & Power…

It is amazing how much is at our finger tips and we don’t even bother. I couldn’t tell you how many self help books and new trends on relationships, child rearing and countless other social relations book or concepts I have been thru. This whole time I had the best resource an arms length away. The Holy Bible and God have been a huge part in my life now and with it I have seen my life do turns I use to fight for. We are going to Bible Studies on Friday nights. I spend time with God in the mornings on my way to work. My husband and I have been doing devotionals at night. We spend 30 min at night with each other or by ourselves but always with God. Listening to Sermons is where we are now and I can’t tell you how helpful it has been. Putting God first in my heart and leaving everyone else 2nd has made me appreciate my husband, my kids, family and friends even more. And I definitely notice when I don’t put him first my day goes BAD really BAD. I have been practicing submission… WOW now that is hard but I will leave that for another blog… (but psss that is even breaking strides in my marriage)… I know that there is a lot out there that implement what God has taught us in the living word, I am just taking it all in and realizing that I can use the main source and still accomplish everything I want for myself, my marriage, my children, and to help everyone around me.
Wow the power knowledge can bring!
More to come!

After Graduation...

My step-brother graduated from high school this pass weekend. We are very proud of him and wish him nothing but the best in his future endeavors! It has made me think how time flies and how its been almost 10 yrs now since I graduated and I have not done all the things I thought I would have time to do after graduation… after a yr break… after I got married… after I had kids… after they went to kindergarten… and now what! All this time has past and if I keep waiting for the right time there will never be a right time… SO NOW IS THE RIGHT TIME! I need to make this time for ME… For My Husband, My Kids & My Family!!! I have been doing Yoga, Exotic Aerobics (sooo much fun), Zumba (thx to my sister-in-law/bff) for my body and health, researching everything from Autism Spectrum Disorder/PDD, learning styles, left handed children, time management and so much more for my own knowledge and how to better help my daughters, and going to bible studies reading the bible and praying more everyday to get closer to my Lord and Savior for my soul and eternal life! It seems like a lot but I do it all to better my self, to make myself a better person. Not to mention it is a big distraction from missing my daddy all the time. God knows I would give anything to spend one more moment or even a hug with him but seeing as that isn’t going to happen I have to make sure I do what I can here on earth so both of my FATHERS in HEAVEN can be proud of the time I have spent here as a Christian, mother, friend, family member and a human being. I have a new philosophy in life… I heard it at the graduation from the valedictorian no less… LOL!!!

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

A Convention Center Full Of Knowledge!!

I went to the Home School Convention with my cousin this passed weekend. God has really open my eyes lately and this is no exception. Herbert & I have always spoke about Homeschooling the girls but we never really knew where, how or even IF we should START! Since I knew someone one with first hand knowledge of homeschooling we decided to tag along with my cousin to this convention to get as much information as I could so that I could make an informed decision. OH MY GOODNESS… INFORMATION IS WHAT WE GOT… a wealth of knowledge not only about home schooling but everything that comes along with it… the ups the down… how to cater your teaching to each child individually to help them better succeed… there was seminars on budgeting, time management, the husbands role in homeschooling, there was also a vendor fair which you could talk to all kinds of people, different types of curriculum from very Christian based schooling to Virtual Online Schooling (and did I mention I won 4 free weeks of Karate for my girls and found an inexpensive Tumbling Class for the girls!!) Now I know what you are thinking about Home School Family and by all means am I saying your wrong but I can tell you one thing most people are not totally correct either! Ever type of family you could think of was there from what you were just imagining and beyond… people, kids, family that looked just like you & me anybody you would come in contact any day of the week. And they don’t want to shelter they kids like most people think, they want to keep them from getting corrupted is more like it. They teach there kids to be independent thinkers. To work for themselves and earn what they get. It’s amazing they teach them money management from a young age, work ethic, these kids no more then me! Sad ain’t it!!! LOL!
I am by no means preaching not to send your kids to public school, what I am saying is Home School parents take it upon them selves to teach there children every they can to make them successful later in life but from parents perspective not from a peer their level who don’t know much about life. Besides the self confidence and independence they get the learning part is amazing. I know when I was growing up I LOVED MATH (still do) I just couldn’t stand that it came so easy to me and that I had to waste time with all the stuff I already knew. And as far as English goes I was so lost half the time I cheated or study enough to get a low C and pass with no one really asking if I comprehended any of it. They spend as much time as needed for every individual subject. One of my co-workers brought up a good point to me… "If these kids are taught to be so independent how would they do in the real word when they would have to work with a group of people?” After thinking about it I though & remembering the seminars at this convention, homeschooled kids become entrepreneurs, the managers or CEO’s of companies not to mention a very high percentage go on to college where you are not going to have some teacher up your butt every day to get your work done and there is group projects that need to be done.
Any ways after all this we are still weighing our options and this is only a part to take into consideration. Tsianna will need to really adapt and that is one of our biggest concerns… I will keep this updated to see how we are doing…. TO HOME SCHOOL OR NOT TO HOME SCHOOL THAT IS THE QUESTION!!!!

Just The Begining!

Well never in a million years did i think I WOULD EVER START A BLOG! but here I am typing my thoughts and my life on a web page for all to see... I hold alot in side, Only speaking my feeling and thoughts to a selected few in my circle. Then almost 2 months ago (58 days ago) my dad... MY DADDY passed away and it was the most surreal moment in my whole life... all I could do was keep my self busy, everyone asked "How are you? Are you okay?" and I found my self begging God to stop that question but instead he gave me the strength to say "I'm Fine!" (by the way no one means it and everyone know it but oh f-ing well)... and I kept this all in not talking to anyone even in my small circle... that lasted exactly 4 days before I was sitting at work one afternoon and all I could do was open up word and start typing my heart out while sobbing at the keyboard of all I had typed! Now I know the power of getting things off my chest! Now fewer people then before asked "How are you doing?" and again I reply "Fine"... if you really want to know then read this blog because it is probably the only way you are going to find out what is really in my head... I won't discuss it with anyone because I don't want to start cry allover your shoulder... trust me people have tried to no avail... even my mother!!! Now if you're okay with my "Fine" then I am definitely okay with it and we can all move on!
I know I am trying to!